Mary Jo’s “A Kentucky Night Before Christmas!”

Posted at 7:31 PM, Dec 21, 2018
and last updated 2018-12-21 17:50:37-05

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house,
Matt Jones sat alone wondering, would this be the year he landed a spouse?
The Governor’s Cup sat by the chimney with care
Now it’s on to Orlando, Big Blue Nation would soon be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of Rick, Tom and Bobby no longer wearing red
And Mama in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Still thinking that Tennessee game was a whole bunch of crap

When down in the swamp there arose such a clatter,
And the last 31 years no longer seemed to matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
To see Josh Allen, the new all-time leader in sacks

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Shows PJ mean mugging on objects below;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a brutal loss to Duke to start off the year

With a little old driver, so lively and quick
Ashton Hagans at point guard must be the trick
More rapid than eagles his critics they came,
But coach cal assured , he still liked his team

Now! Tyler now! Quickley now! Reid Travis and EJ
On! Nick on! Keldon on! Jermarl and PJ;
To the top of the rankings forget Seton Hall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

With North Carolina and Louisville on deck
This must harness the power of Bill Meck
As I drew in my head and was turning around
On the tv, Ryan Lemond appeared with a bound

With a head of new hair and no Cutler in sight
He was free to yell YAKKA to everyone’s delight
A bag of free t-shirts flung on his back
He looked like a peddler just opening his pack

With Ryan back in the gang is all here
Drew, Ricky, Perrin, lee bring the good cheer
But her eyes – how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry,
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry

If you ever question the best hey Kentucky co-host, you know
Look no further than sweet mary jo

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow
Matt turned 40 this year as you know
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly:

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And There was no doubt he was in love with himself
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Stoops gave me to know I had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Nobody likes us against Penn State those jerks
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod to his buddy AJ Rose.

He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And Benny ran up the field like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-
Snell yeah to all, and to all a good night.